Last Week in Jukeboxing

The Singles Jukebox has lately been worth reading for Katherine St. Asaph's blurbs alone, but the other folks are funny and interesting, and then of course there's the music links.  Who knows, you may find some of the following dance tunes less meh than I did.

Le bien:
The Strokes: "Under Cover of Darkness" 
The interlocking instrumentalists put on an absurdly cheerful show choir routine, while token sad kid Julian cobbles a melody out of whatever notes and words he’s got lying around. The wobbly “puppet on a string” melody cribs from “Last Night” and sounds like a tic, but the “so long” hook comes straight from U2’s “Angel of Harlem”, which gives the whole thing a wistfulness that’s not entirely earned by the words. It’s a rigorous and warmhearted comeback anthem that’s all about saying goodbye.
[8] 

...le mal:
Pulled Apart By Horses: "I Punched a Lion in the Throat" 
To give this thing more than a one-liner may be overly generous, but that riff that shapes the second half would sound great coming from Soundgarden, and it’s certainly the best thing these yahoos came up with here. Unfortunately, singer Tom Hudson employs both my least favorite timbre of rock scream — the “Blood Brothers down the garbage disposal” sound — and my heretofore unrealized least favorite way of uttering the words “I punched a lion in the throat”. Like, he sounds SMUG about it. Or, more likely, about the fact that he wrote a song called “I Punched a Lion in the Throat”. If these guys were the Test Icicles, they’d have had the courtesy to break up by now.
[2]  

Oh wait...
Tyler the Creator: "Yonkers"
Shocking! An outrage! He goes too far, debases all that we cherish! EVERYBODY KNOWS TRICERATOPS WAS MONOGAMOUS!
[1] 

...et le mot juste:
Wiz Khalifa: "Roll Up"
It’s got those “True Colors” chords, so it’d be a [9] if he didn’t fall into the love-rap trap of leaving a bunch of nothing lines hanging out to dry. Rhythmic interest is confined to that syncopated “you ain’t entertained” sequence that ends Verse 1. Lyrical interest is confined to the trickle-down bling hogwash “If I ball then we all gon’ stunt”, which Mitt Romney should adopt as a campaign slogan.
[6]
 
L'others:
Gold Panda: "Marriage" [7]
Vivian Girls: "I Heard You Say" [6]
Clare Maguire: "The Last Dance" [5]
Bright Light Bright Light: "How To Make a Heart" [6]
Salem Al Fakir: "Split My Personality" [4]
David Banner & 9th Wonder ft. Ludacris and Marsha Ambrosius: "Be With You" [7]