This '09 Flexible Music CD is Worth It!

The green room was a disgrace.

From my PopMatters review of Flexible Music's fm album, a few sentences:

[FM] favour modern classical music squarely in the downtown NYC tradition of bucking tradition, blending atonality with gestures out of minimalism and soundtracks, and pushing complex syncopated rhythms right out front.


The album opens with Louis Andriessen’s 1991 “Hout”, one of the few pieces written prior to this millennium for FM’s instrumentation. The Dutch composer wrote “Hout” as a nearly-strict canon, with saxophone leading the melodic charge and the other instruments following at 16th note intervals. The resulting piece sounds like a long, jazz-influenced melody getting dragged through a lake, sending out ripples of echoes that threaten to swamp the tune but never do. As a musical experiment, it’s cool; as a piece of music it’s something more, given Andriessen’s talent for mixing the instruments’ sonorities into indelible blends. Though the notes move constantly, with saxophonist Timothy Ruedeman’s fingers clacking away, the piece swells and breathes with a large-scale shape all its own.


[In "Sustenance Variations"] pianist Eric Huebner lulls you with a delicate music box melody, and then, out of nowhere, Lippel and percussionist Haruka Fujii start smacking their instruments around. The effect startles, and it achieves the grab-you-by-the-throat physicality that’s one of FM’s goals.


Musicians of all genres would do well to realize that James Brown was one of last century’s smartest musicians, up there with Stravinsky. That doesn’t mean you can’t imitate him. But simply copping a couple mannerisms reveals a shallow understanding of his chief innovation, a precise rhythmic pointillism that coalesces into free-floating grooves. Don’t condescend to the Godfather. (OK, I’m done.)

Surfing in Babylon Leaves Home: Swell Season! Lightning Bolt! Kid Sister! Urinetown!

In what's surely been a banner period for witnessing live music not performed by myself, I've been to several performances of the stuff in the past week. Whaddo they call 'em? "Shows"? Of course, in two instances I couldn't really see the performers, so the "show" part consisted more of watching my fellow music afficionadi. To wit:

The Swell Season at Ravinia, Wed. 7/14/10

My wife's more of a fan than I am; their albums make me sort of sleepy. The movie Once, which notably starred Swell Seasoners Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, was a delight, and Glen is a real charmer live. When we saw them last December at the Auditorium Theatre, Glen kept shouting out to the cheap seats, the area where you could've guessed we were sitting, if you have ANY understanding of my monetary policies. Glen told story after story. Some were moving, some were funny; all showcased his shambling appeal as a performer. We were his. I didn't want the show to end.

This Ravinia show, we were OK with it ending. Ravinia's cheap seats are a lawn with no clear view of the stage; they have a big TV, but it's less compelling. Throughout the concert, wife and I marveled at the people around us who were dining and conversing while giving little attention to the music being piped through the trees. Hadn't they paid good money for these tickets? I could see if you're going to Ravinia for Shostakovich quartets or something and you paid ten bucks, maybe you take a walk and play with the kid while listening to beautiful music in the background. But somehow a pop show demands more of your undivided attention, even if the music doesn't require close listening like a string quartet. The performers interact more with the audience, and the tickets cost more.

Unfortunately, charming Glen seemed to realize that he couldn't see 3/4 of his audience, and he seemed a little cowed by it. The stories were missing, the funny little bits of stage patter gone. A couple Swell Season songs require that the audience sing backup vocals, and Glen had no hope of communicating that to his unseen fans. He and Marketa and their band, the Frames, performed well, but the communal spirit of the Auditorium show was missing. In hopes of beating the rush to the shuttle bus, we left during "Falling Slowly," their big Oscar hit; but we did get to hear my favorite song of theirs, "When Your Mind's Made Up" (got big applause):



Lightning Bolt and the Catacombz at "The Spot," Friday 7/16/10

Against all odds, Lightning Bolt are probably my favorite band of the '00s. They put out four really good albums last decade--who DOES that? (The Beatles, the Stones, Led Zeppelin... the list is not long.) Lightning Bolt are a two-piece noise band, with Brian Chippendale on drums and Brian Gibson on bass, and they're ridiculously amplified. I mean, these guys are SO amplified, you feel them in your chest before you hear them. Before the show, everybody starts stuffing their ears with earplugs or ripped-up pieces of paper. It's ominous, like the rippling glass of water in Jurassic Park. (The trick, if you're planning on seeing them, is to find the earplug sweet spot where you can still hear plenty of treble from the bass and the cymbals. If you stuff it in too far, all you can hear is chest vibrations and snare drum thwack.) Lightning Bolt have a sound all their own, and they're slavishly devoted to that sound. In fact, in The Wire, Gibson spoke of the attention they've given their live sound:

"Cause it's so much distortion and bi-amped all this sub-low coming out of the 18s, anything I do has so much force, it's really nice. I do think that's such an important thing, that's the problem with most bands that I see, is actually getting your equipment to sound good live. It just seems like people neglect that, and they think way more about what they're playing and what's happening in the song, in theory, but I think the reality of it is that people are gonna be just hearing something initially that's purely sonic and either sounds when it hits you or it doesn't."

Trust me--when Lightning Bolt plays, IT HITS YOU.



That said, the show was just a little disappointing. Predictable. In '05, Frank Kogan argued on an Ashlee Simpson ILM thread that Lightning Bolt didn't sound like they might "potentially veer out of control." And it's true, they don't. And I think part of the expectation at a Lightning Bolt show--where you've got all this NOISE NOISE NOISE, and you might go deaf, and the band's in the middle of the audience, and hairy people are moshing and crowd-surfing, and everybody's sweaty and touching--is that the band will create, using only their music, a situation that might possibly veer out of control. But no, there's little chance of that. Lightning Bolt are well-rehearsed and they have hooks. You can recognize distinct songs from their CDs, even if I'd be hard pressed to tell you the titles of those songs, apart from "The Faire Folk." They're very polite after showtime, greeting fans with handshakes. And despite all the apparent flailing, all their songs have a basic pulse of either 60, a resting heart rate, or 100, a "Stayin' Alive" beat. They should play Lightning Bolt at CPR seminars!

So what, they never threatened to cut themselves with glass or electrocute the crowd. That's probably for the best. For ten bucks (and even if it'd cost considerably more) they put on a great, energetic show, full of guitar effects you're simply not gonna hear from any other band. See 'em before you die.

And before Lightning Bolt came tha Catacombz! Fairly loud Milwaukee four-piece that combined noise energy with classic-rock and motorik song structures--they were blasting Creedence at their merch table. These guys surprised me in ways that LB didn't, if only because I'd never heard their shtick before. Few have. I believe they've only got cassette releases right now, and their shirts are secondhand tees with the Catacombz logo spraypainted on. Catch 'em while they're hot!

(Special thanks to Chi-town's own Castro, aka Idol Threat, for getting me outta the house!)



Kid Sister at Millennium Park, Mon. 7/19/10

Hometown! Actually, I was more hoping to catch the amplified thumb piano groovez of Konono No. 1, but we missed them, so Chicago rapper Kid Sister had to do, and indeed she did. My four-year-old spent most of her show dancing and running around. The crowd, an assortment of hippies and other-people-who-like-free-live-music, seemed to be into her--they, too, danced and ran around. Sound was good, stage patter a little awkward but genuine, new songs fit right in, and all the rhymes were spot-on. In fact, Castro and I discussed her flow on the way to the LB show, and while I was claiming that, like Ke$ha, Kid Sister's flow came out of L'Trimm and Fannypack, I now think I was mistaken. Kid Sister is squarely in the GILLETTE camp of aggressive syncopation, whereas the other girls are a little cutesier and girlier, with more on-beats. (THE FLOWTATION DEVICE will get on this shit, if we ever stop horsing around.)

Anyhow, here's the lovely "Daydreaming":



Urinetown: the Musical at College of Lake County, Friday 7/23/10

"I DIDN'T KNOW TWO HEARTS COULD BEAT AS ONE!"

Urinetown is one of that prevalent recent genre, "Musicals That Dwell On The Fact That They're Musicals." Along with The Drowsy Chaperone, this one has a shot at outlasting our cynical era. Ironic? Unlike Chaperone, which is steeped in its love of musicals, Urinetown is relentlessly cynical. Every song is played for laughs, whether a death song or a love song--like the lovely, complex "Follow Your Heart":



There are moments in Urinetown where you start to care about the characters or the plot mechanations, and then the musical simply makes fun of you for caring. In the end, the hero dies, the heroine ruins civilization, and the audience walks out laughing uncertainly, envisioning mankind engulfed in a river of pee. At least I do. I then try to conserve water for a week or so. While I refrain from flushing, I get the feeling that Urinetown is laughing at me even more.

What these live performances have in common, I don't know. I suppose they teach us the lesson that great music can come from anywhere, whether the local community college (which outperformed that link I posted), the big city immediately to the north or south, a different state, or a different country. But we already knew that, didn't we? So probably it's more like this: my synchronicity is your coincidence, my nights on the town are pretty humdrum. Which is fine. My wife just handed me a coconut macaroon that she made (we've been baking all day for the county fair). It's good, and I'm set. But it was nice to get out of the house.

Best Thing I Heard Today: Byron Cage doing "Faithful to Believe"

Absolutely thrilling call and response over drums, with blazing instrumental fills:



The drummer, I'm happy to learn, is the remarkable Calvin Rodgers, who you'll remember from Marvin Sapp's latest CD. Like that album, Mr. Cage's was produced by Aaron Lindsey and recorded live in a Michigan church. No doubt they touched it a little up after the concert, but just look at the video! The bulk of what we're hearing is live, and I'm always amazed by live bands who sound this good.

If you have any LL Cool J albums, his second greatest hits is probably NOT WORTH IT.

LL Cool J
All World 2
(Def Jam)

For the first eight songs on this, his second hits collection, LL is as brash and funny as any man who's ever walked with big cats. Seriously, Mike Tyson in The Hangover has nothing on "I'm That Type of Guy" or "Big Ole Butt," which features a Red Lobster sex scene for the ages. LL's pillow talk ranged from the silky, milky "Around the Way Girl" to the alarming symbolist poetry of "Pink Cookies in a Plastic Bag Getting Crushed By Buildings." Maybe not a metaphor the ladies WANTED to hear, but you can't say it was one-dimensional.

Unfortunately, four of those good songs appeared on LL's first hits collection back in '97; more unfortunately, he's really fallen off since then. The last nine songs yield exactly two surprises. First, in "4,3,2,1" he manages to outrap Meth, Red, and DMX. Second, in "Paradise" he interrupts foreplay to brag to his girl that he tithes.* Even though his remaining ninety percent was enough to buy top-shelf beats from Timbaland and The-Dream, LL's latest rhymes have completely forgotten how to be funny, or even how to use metaphors. Come on, dude--you could even rap about your abs and NCIS for all I care. I'm sure the ladies would still love you.

*"And I breathe deep, I'm one with the universe
Minimum, ten percent go to God first
Lay back baby, close your eyes
Ice on the pinky finger froze your thighs"

Surfing With W.A.S.P.

Dude, this new WASP song is really good!



Now THERE'S a sentence I never thought I'd utter. It's right up there with "I really wanna see this movie Hot Tub Time Machine" and the dinner-table-with-toddler classic "Touch your own hot." But as far as I knew, WASP were one of those bands that just always sucked. It seemed like their purpose in life--people would ask them what they did for a living, and they'd say, "We suck." People: "I'm sorry?" WASP: "We SUCK (like a beast)." People: "No, I mean I'm sorry you suck." WASP: [either] "Ba-DUM bum!" [or] "No, it's cool--we're pretty wealthy."

Granted, "as far as I knew" was not very far. Aside from their public battles with the PMRC in the '80s, I only knew their music through Babylon research. Their OTHER Babylon song is this really-very-poor excuse for a decadent screed, "Sunset and Babylon," a pathetic attempt to sum up their "legacy" and sell a couple greatest hits albums. They even cut a video for it, complete with scandalous WASP-related headlines:



At this point WASP seemed washed up and almost theoretical. Blackie Lawless's key lines in "Sunset" are "My hand firmly wrapped around a fifth of Bacardi" and "Just come on down and we'll get crude." If anything, he needed to drink MORE. But since then, Blackie got religion and started recording concept albums. Believe me, I haven't kept up, so feel free to fill in any blanks in the comments. But if WASP's recent album titles are to be believed, Blackie is now in the unusual position of being either the antichrist or the world's messiah. He is an Unholy Terror, a Dominator, who is busily Dying for the World while recording a two-part album called The Neon God. Heavy shit.

Maybe I need to go back and listen to all of them, because new one Babylon is REALLY GOOD. Like, one of the best new albums I've heard this year. (And I'm counting it for this year, even though it came out last year. Time cannot contain me.) More on the whole album later, but its concept is "Blackie sings the Book of Revelation," which everyone knows is the most kickass book of the Bible, except maybe Daniel. Well, and then you've got all the genocidal mayhem of Joshua and Samuel, and Job arguing with God, and the borderline-nihilism of Ecclesiastes--let's say most kickass book of the New Testament.

"Babylon's Burning" packs in all your favorite unsavory elements from Revelation. You've got Babylon, of course, and its attendant whore; you've got 666 and the seven seals and a seven-headed beast; there's even a horseman, though I'm not sure where the other three went to. (Maybe they're still hanging with Aphrodite's Child.) It's all pretty straightforward and Blackie makes no attempt at interpreting this complex apocalyptic symbolism.

No, he wisely saves that for the video. Ah, now I get it! The "Babylon" that's burning is every modern totalitarian government! They stifle freedom! They murder dissenters! They are typified by the evil faces of their leaders, who appear in an ominous filmic parade behind the band: Hitler, Stalin, Ahmadinejad, Putin, and--my word, is that Obama? Why yes, as it turns out, the new improved Blackie Lawless is on record comparing Obama to Hitler, and, um, denigrating him for being a socialist Robin Hood. (Didn't we used to LIKE Robin Hood?)

By showing Obama amid all these dictators, Blackie is dangerously close to making a good point. If he were making said point, it might be that our society is ALSO a Babylon; indeed, that ANY civilization apart from God's Kingdom occupies the symbolic position of Babylon; and that ALL rulers and regimes, no matter how much they might superficially differ from Blackie's parade of despotic wackjobs, are in fact running a system that's incompatible with the Kingdom.

As it is, Blackie's video is not making that good point. Rather, it's making the RETARDED point that Obama--unlike any previous American president OR sitting rich world leader--is a totalitarian dictator. I mean, come on Blackie! How hard would it have been to throw Bush's face up there? Or Nicolas Sarkozy, or Angela Merkel, or Stephen Harper--you KNOW we can't trust that guy! Obama is less socialist than ANY OF THEM, and saying even that much traps us inside the weird thought territory where any incremental socialism equals totalitarian brutality, and...

Oh Blackie. You see what you do to me? Here I am getting all worked up over this little song of yours, and it's really good! Congratulations! And if you were considering a second career in politics, here's another sentence I never thought I'd say: Blackie Lawless, you should keep your day job.

Best Thing I Heard Today: Mary J. Blige doing "I Feel Good"

Basically this is a Ne-Yo song sung by Mary J. Blige. Great idea, if you ask me, since Ne-Yo and his regular production partners Stargate were my favorite musicians to emerge last decade. (I think. Unless the White Stripes count.) Mary J. even seems to imitate Ne-Yo's singing style in this song--her voice is smooth and restrained, but she throws in little vibrato quavers at the end of each line. Maybe this approach is simply endemic to Ne-Yo songs, encoded in the way they're written. Have a listen:



Ne-Yo, in turn, seems to have picked up this style from Michael Jackson's softer side, particularly the song "Human Nature." In fact, I hear much of his/Stargate's catalog as teasing out the implications of "Human Nature"--the music, not the words. The beats may be different, but the singing always comes from MJ.

And then there's the chord progressions! "Human Nature" provides a wealth of unusually beautiful chord progressions to play with. This particular song, "I Feel Good," explores the way "Human Nature" centers around a minor ii chord ("does hedoitthat way..."). Ne-Yo's own "When You're Mad" plays with the keyboard riff's IV/V/flat-III-Maj7/IV progression. "Sexy Love" takes up the IV/V/I6/IV from the verses. Um, I'm pretty sure there are others that I won't analyze today. Not bad for a song written by Steve Porcaro, aka "One of the Guys from Toto"! (Maybe "Human Nature" is just teasing out the implications of "Africa" or something. The thought gives me pause.) Anyway, I won't post all that stuff cause who knows what four Youtube embeds would do to your computer, but go to Youtube! Go on! All these songs are there! Trust me, you'll feel good.

Best Thing I Heard Today: Electrik Red doing "Freaky Freaky" (CAUTION: TOO SEXY)

The sound world in "Freaky Freaky" is made up of several things I'm a total sucker for. The opening synth stutter sounds like it was lifted wholesale from Timberlake/Timbaland's "My Love," easily one of the past decade's greatest huge hits. The voices keep doing crazy things, like call-and-responding falsetto "fricky-fricky"s with some electro dude nodding "aw aw", and following THAT up with the overly dramatic "OOH OOH OOH OOH" hook. There's even some cute Prince-like text painting when the morning dove sings "tweet tweet tweet". The whole song is a colorful feast of disparate sounds. Feast away!



You can guess what the song's about, but honestly, the words didn't even register until I read them online. It's all a bunch of "baby sex-stuff" (as Randy Newman once characterized Prince lyrics, positively) like "If my body's a club, you're my disco ball." The most interesting line, apart from the sound fx quoted above, is probably the oft-repeated rap, "Love when the DJ, DJ play my shit, my shit." The line conjures up images of Electrik Red hearing their song and bragging to their conquests WHILE getting freaky freaky. In some interview somewhere, Janet Jackson says it's weird when that happens.

This tune, like most Electrik Red songs, was written and produced by The-Dream with his partner in music, Tricky Stewart. Together these guys are responsible for three of my favorite songs from the last decade: Rihanna's "Umbrella," J. Holiday's "Bed" (which shares "Freaky"'s sense of overwrought drama), and Beyonce's "Single Ladies," for which they should win every Grammy in sight this Sunday. In addition, they came up with the first Mariah song I've liked in a long time, "Touch My Body."

Look at the variety among those songs! "Umbrella"'s an impassive mountain; the song's words are comforting, but it guarantees its promises with the transcendent steely power of its beats and bassline and Rihanna's voice. You're glad to have "Umbrella" on your side, and you sort of feel bad for the rain. "Bed" is all pleading psychodrama, the desperate cry of a man who needs It worse than anyone outside his head can imagine, so he'll say whatever it takes. "Single Ladies" is an almost Spartan contrast to Dream/Tricky's normally stuffed palette; the unusual beat is all*, every element is exposed for observation, with the little random background squiggles just as vital as Beyonce herself. And "Touch My Body" is warm, plush, funny Mariah, just a rung down from the others. I haven't done the math, but that could well add up to a collection of hits as impressive as anyone racked up in the '00s.

*"All" except for Beyonce's voice, of course, and the vocal harmonies, and the massive bassline that shows up periodically, etc...

Best Thing I Heard Today: Brad Paisley doing "Then" (and also Change doing "The Glow of Love")

Hearing "Then" on the radio today, I realized the song is kind of about itself, at least in my world. That is, it keeps growing on me, and that's after I voted for it in a year-end poll, and after I've stuck up for it over on ILM's Rolling Country thread. But today it was even more touching, relatable, and perfect, like an image of my life here in Two-Thousand and Ten, so I thanked the song and said, "And I thought I loved you then." (This increase in love is kind of a relief, proof to myself that I didn't overrate it.) By all means click and listen:



"Then" is better than most sappy prom ballads, in part because its verse melody sets the song up to be in a minor key, which is unusual for a happy song. The minor opening gives the song some additional depth. It creates a wistful tinge of longing and maybe even uncertainty--is this going to be a sad song? Does she get run over by a train or something? But once we get to the soaring major chorus and we realize everything's OK, Brad Paisley's love sounds even happier for having made it through the minor-ness.

In 1980, Change's song "The Glow of Love," featuring Luther Vandross's first prominent lead vocal, employed a similar happy-minor strategy. This song's even better than "Then," and notice how the first three notes of their piano riffs are the same (5,3,2). Coincidence? Yeah, I'm sure it is.



On Youtube, the Change comments are mostly music-related; they talk about how great Luther was, and how great Michael Jackson was (sister Janet sampled "The Glow of Love" in "All For You"). The Brad Paisley comments, on the other hand, are mostly shout-outs and dedications, tributes to real life love and how people use this song in their actual lives. Will we still be using it in 30 years? "Then" is so perfectly crafted, it should be sturdy enough to survive, no problem.

The Flowtation Device Prezentz: "Usual Suspects" by Rick Ro$$ ft. Nas (CUSSING, BIG SURPRISE)

In which the Flowtation Device comes to the controversial conclusion that NAS IS A BETTER RAPPER THAN RICK ROSS. OR maybe you already knew that without the FD's help. Indeed, any four-year-old could probably deliver the same verdict, provided we let them listen to Rick Ross CDs in the car, which we certainly DO NOT. So this particular aesthetic judgment is not particularly earth shattering, nor was the FD necessary to its derivation. BUT! Maybe the Flowtation Device can help to clarify WHY Nas is superior. Listen and we'll chat:



Truth is, Rick Ross is pretty good. And his CD! Deeper Than Rap should TOTALLY have made my '09 list, probably #3 or #4. (Adios, U2!) The first several songs hone to perfection a smooth variety of "yacht rap," based on conspicuous-consumption lyrics and perfectly placed sonic elements, that's as reassuring as reading the Zingerman's catalog. (Or another expensive catalog from which you dream of someday placing an order.)

But back to Mr. Ross. He's maybe a little stiff and doesn't attempt anything too outrageous, but he's certainly more authoritative than Soulja Boy, let alone the guys in Lonely Island, whose "I'm On a Boat" sprays Rick's whole block with a glock. His two verses here set up such regular rhyme patterns that you barely need the Flowtation Device to make them scan:

If you balling physics, nigga money never flow
Meaning every day I'm living tryna stay afloat
Coming from a BOSS, I can predict a double cross
Handlers managing money, they never come across

Of course I have to point out that he rhymes "cross" with "cross." There are worse crimes. For instance, there's fact that a bunch of his rhymes fall square on beat 4, which makes him sound like he's trying to run in lead shoes. But he's capable of changing things up on occasion, like with this swingin' syncopation from Verse 1:

*i'mTOO_COOL_FORlame / =dudes=thatRIDiCULE_ /

So, yeah, faint praise, but it's not like he's got no business doing what he's doing. As I said before, he knows how to make a great album and he's a talent magnet--as evidenced by the Nastradamic greatness of the middle verse, at 1:59.

If Ross sounds leaden, Nas's verse has more twists and swoops than Muhummad Ali flying around the ring. Here's the blow by blow:

*andSTILL_MYtalENTis / YETtoBEchalLENGED.HADno /
JET.WITHmyOWN_PIlot / *noBLASTingOFFbutFLEXing /
DjKHAled*myMOM_ / STRESSingCOLLege*.BUTmy /
CRUDE_SENSEofLOGicDIDal / LUDE_TOmyEMPtyWALlet /

Rhymes are EVERYwhere. Notice that "talent" and "challenged" start on offbeats, while all the others--"pilot," "Khaled," "college," "logic," "wallet"--start on the beat, but on DIFFERENT beats--4, 2, 2, 3, and 4, respectively. You can tell immediately that Nas commands his words enough to rhyme wherever he wants. Ross's regular rhyme patterns, on the other hand, make it seem like he HAD to put those rhymes on the final beats or else he'd get lost. His attitude is big enough that it doesn't undermine his authority too much (he's THE BOSS, after all), but next to him, Nas sounds like he's spiraling into the stratosphere. And it gets better:

*trySPITtingONaGREEN_ / TINTedACcord=.WHICHcould /
MEANaSENTenceUPnorth=. / WHEREtheHOMieWASbutBACKthen /
DOUGHwasLIKEaWHOREthatGOLDie / LOVEitDIDn'tEXistANDof /
FICerFOLeyCUFFS.WASaf / TERmyWRISTS_

!!!!!! In case you missed it:

WHEREtheHOMieWASbutBACKthen /
DOUGHwasLIKEaWHOREthatGOLDie / LOVEitDIDn'tEXistANDof /
FICerFOLeyCUFFS

That virtuosic run of 29 syllables without a rest is a thrilling contrast to the shorter phrases that precede it. Listening to this verse is like listening to a Sonny Rollins solo heat up. When it starts out I'm thinking, "OK, I think I know what's going on here," I can follow the notes and the tune and everything, and then all of a sudden he's gone, and I have NO IDEA what's going on, and I love him even more. Not done yet; I believe Nas was talking about his wrists...

*wasNOTbev /
ERlyHILLS_WHEREweCHILLED_ / *imAgineTHIStheNAZa /
RETH.HADtoGETfromRAGSto / RICH.*.*iUSEDto /
STANDonROOFtops=withTWO_ / GLOCKS_*.FIGurIN'how /
DOiTURNmyTIMberLANDSto / CROCS_*nowREPtiles=

I sheepishly admit that I don't understand why the Nazareth wants to turn his Timberlands to Crocs. Please explain this mystery to me, and then allow him to flabbergast you again:

was /
LEFT_OUTaBOUTtoWATCH_ / *whatISyouTHINKin'MURKyou /
PLUStheMUScleTHATyouBRINGin' / ISnothINGtoMEifYOUthug /
GIN'andFAKEorSHAKEDon=cub / ANshoutOUTmyRICans*dealt /
WITHallOFyouGANGstasTOthe / ROUGHestJAMaiCANSandHAItians /

ANOTHER 29 syllables without a break, the strong ones on offbeats and the weak ones on strong beats, except in those cases that they're not. In this verse, Nas demonstrates his unique gift for creating an rhyme logic that doesn't fall into those cookie-cutter "sung-style" (Adam Krims holla!) patterns, patterns that are weaker MCs' bread and butter. This verse would be amazing in any context, but it leaves Rick Ross in the dust. One Youtube commenter wonders, "Why would Nas go on a song with this guy?" That's like asking, "Why would he want his dick to look huge?"

The Flowtation Device Prezents: "I'm On a Boat" by Lonely Island ft. T-Pain (DETAILED DISCUSSION OF PROFANITY)

The Flowtation Device doesn't actually have much to say about this one, but when has that stopped us before? Sometime before you lose your sense of humor, you should really watch this video, if you're not one of the 10 million people who's already done so:



And if irregular buffering gets you down, you can always just listen to the song:



The Singles Jukebox, an entertaining critical roundup, was divided into thirds over whether this song was a really good parody that was also an homage, an OK joke that could have been better executed, or a lametard joke that insulted its target and wasn't funny at all. Since it was my favorite single of 2009, I'm going with the first choice, but I'd like to downplay the importance of the "parody being simultaneously an homage". Of COURSE it's simultaneously an homage! This is not so unusual. In fact, the genre of parodies could plausibly be divided into thirds: one third simultaneously pays tribute to its target (Lonely Island, Hot Fuzz, some Spike Jones); one third insults its target (other Spike Jones, "Smells Like Nirvana"); and one third you can't really tell (most other Weird Al songs). These thirds are probably unequal; I haven't done the math, nor do I intend to. Please contact me if you're interested in doing so, and I'll endorse your results.

The guys in Lonely Island are pretty good rappers, and they're good in a way that highlights the shortcomings of the Flowtation Device. Read on the page, a line like

"i'mRIDin /
ONaDOLphin*.DOin / FLIPS_ANDshit=theDOLphin's /
SPLASHin=.GETtinEV'ry / BODyALLwet*"

is sort of funny, but rhythmically it's simple and boring. Accented syllables fall about where you'd expect them to, and the only item of interest is the syncopation that sometimes occurs on the "and" of beat 2: "FLIPS_ANDshit" and "EV'ry / BODyALLwet". (Let's call that the "rhythm of the boogie the beat" phrase-ending syncopation, for short.) But the Lonelies' delivery makes the line and puts over the rest of the song. It's the Beastie Boys effect. Lonely Island are aggressively in character and they really sell this idea that being on a boat is the most covetable example of conspicuous consumption that's ever existed. Plus they have T-Pain singing the funniest parody cameo since Michael McDonald offered to get your car detailed for 20 bucks, at the end of the South Park movie.

Alas, the Flowtation Device cannot depict flow delivery. So we'll end by pointing out two elements that DO fall under our jurisdiction, but that you probably could have noticed without our help:

1. The Lonely Island may not be the most skilled rappers, but they make themselves appear more skilled by changing flow patterns every four lines. The array of patterns--five different ones over six verses--helps create the impression that a whole posse of guest rappers is in the studio, and the brevity of these four-line verses keeps us from getting bored by what are some fairly pedestrian rhythms. Some of the verses start their lines on beat one, some rest on beat one, some rhyme at the end of each line, some rhyme on beat 2--they've identifed a variety of simple ways to change things up.

2. The one surprising rhythm (and maybe I'm just easily surprised) occurs in verse 5, the "motherfucker" verse. I expect lines like

"*.FUCK.LANDi'mONa / BOAT.MOTHerFU_CKAH."

to end on the "and" of beat 3, which would continue the "rhythm of the boogie the beat" phrase-ending syncopation, discussed above. Instead, Mr. Lonely holds out "FU--" for a whole beat, and hits second syllable "CKAH" right on beat 4, if not the barest smidge before. Ordinarily, hitting every beat in a bar would be the most boring rapping imaginable, the sort of parody you'd get from some blowhard who'd only ever heard rap blasting out of car windows and felt threatened by it. But since they've cannily established the expectation of ending phrases on offbeats--since we know the Lonely Island are capable of syncopation--the refusal to syncopate just emphasizes the word "motherfucker," in all its ridiculous glory, even more.

Best Thing I Heard Today: The Raveonettes doing "Bang!"

An irresistible homage to the Crystals' "He Hit Me (and It Felt Like a Kiss)." More to the point, an irresistible homage to Stella Kowalski reminiscing about her husband Stanley's violence, and concluding "I was sort of--thrilled by it." Which is to say, the Raveonettes aren't doing anything new by wrapping up edgy material in a pretty package. Don't they make it sound good, though?:



Boring confessional: Along with 2009's debut from the Pains of Being Pure at Heart, this Raveonettes album (In and Out of Control) makes me think I should get around to listening to the Jesus and Mary Chain before I die. I've heard more JMC tribute bands than I've heard JMC themselves. It's really disgraceful. From what I understand, JMC were a feedback/reverb-heavy Phil Spector tribute band, so it's not like THEY were doing anything new either. PoBPaH emphasize the feedback/reverb aspect of JMC, with little wispy melodies floating through the noise.

The Raveonettes are more in love with pop structure, so their songs have actual bridges and things amid the wispy melodies. At least on "Bang!", Sharin Foo's voice has more presence than anything the Painz were able to pull off. Great chiming guitar tone, too. Drumming isn't their strong suit, I think--on a Spector song you'd have huge fills and exciting textures in the background, where the Raves manage a couple simple thumping patterns. But the rest of the song's good enough that they prevent me from caring.

Best Things I Heard in 2009: Pazz/Jop Ballot and Comments

If you're interested in year-end music lists, especially those made by people who heard pathetically few new albums over the course of the year, here's mine! Also, if you enjoy rambling specious comparisons between theological concepts and pop music, you've reached the right page, my friend. These ballots are always fun to do, so God bless the Village Voice for letting me continue. As a response to their grace, my New Year's resolution is to be a better rock critic in 2010. Off I go to download some darkwave promos!

With the exception of the Collin Raye song, all top 10 singles are Youtubable, but I'm too lazy to provide links right now. (You know how to use Youtube.) I've had the best luck with Collin's tune at myspace.

Singles
1. "I'm On a Boat"--The Lonely Island feat. T-Pain (Universal Republic)
2. "High Cost of Living"--Jamey Johnson (Mercury Nashville)
3. "Midlife Chrysler"--Collin Raye (Saguaro Road)
4. "Quiet Dog"--Mos Def (Downtown)
5. "New Wu"--Raekwon feat. Ghostface Killah and Method Man (ICEAL)
6. "2 Turntables and a Microphone"--DJ Crazy Toones feat. Kurupt (www.hardknock.tv)
7. "Don't Stop Believin'"--Glee Cast (Sony)
8. "Sidestep"--Robin Thicke (Interscope)
9. "Then"--Brad Paisley (Arista Nashville)
10. "On the Ocean"--K'Jon (Universal Republic)

Other good ones:
"Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell"--Das Racist
"Bang!"--the Raveonettes
"Nothing to Hide"--Yo La Tengo
"ABCs"--K'Naan feat. Chubb Rock
"Waving Flag"--K'Naan
"Dead and Gone"--TI feat. JT
"I Run to You"--Lady Antebellum
"Waking Up in Vegas"--Katy Perry
"Nothing to Worry About"--Peter Bjorn & John
"My Life Would Suck Without You"--Kelly Clarkson
"I Get Crazy"--Nicki Minaj feat. Lil' Wayne
"I Do Not Hook Up"--Kelly Clarkson
"Use Somebody"--Kings of Leon

Albums
1. K'Naan--Troubadour (A&M/Octone)
2. Maxwell--BLACKsummer's Night (Columbia)
3. Ata Ebtekar and the Iranian Orchestra for New Music--Orientalism (Sub Rosa)
4. Lightning Bolt--Earthly Delights (Load)
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs--It's Blitz! (Interscope)
6. Bob Dylan--Together Through Life (Columbia)
7. Brad Paisley--American Saturday Night (Arista Nashville)
8. Cesium 137--Identity (Metropolis)
9. Raekwon--Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II (ICEAL)
10. U2--No Line on the Horizon (Interscope)



Hi, thanks for letting me vote, since I'm nobody's idea of a Gatekeeper. Demographia: 32, a straight white married American, and a stay-at-home father of one. Also, as a part-time Lutheran organist and choir director, I am very moved whenever I listen to "Welcome to the Future" and Brad Paisley proclaims, "Wake up Martin Luther!" Assuming we did awaken the crusading monk and noted anti-Semite, what would he have to say about The Year In Music 2009? Probably something dicey about Matisyahu--but then, who wouldn't?



Maybe he'd compare the Catholic Church to The Monoculture! Remember when Michael Jackson's death symbolized the Death of Monoculture? (Results 1 - 10 of about 27,100 for "michael jackson" death monoculture.) I'm not totally sure I understand this claim--how long has The Monoculture been dead, exactly? Did it just die in June? Was it still alive in 2001, when Jackson's last album came out? Or did it die sometime since 1991-2, when he could have reasonably been said to have a claim on EVERYONE? (Though maybe not as big a claim as niche artists Metallica, Garth Brooks, Pearl Jam, and Nirvana, all of whom have sold more copies of their 1991 albums, at least in the U.S.) Furthermore, if The Monoculture has been dying or dead for a while, why did we only start mourning it when its last living exponent kicked the bucket? I'm pretty sure we noticed its death before Jackson died, if we read the preface to Christgau's Consumer Guide: Albums of the '90s, published in 2000. ("Who can possibly believe that Madonna and the Wu-Tang Clan mean as much to the Culture at Large as the Beatles and Aretha Franklin?") So if we only started mourning at decade's end, how much could The Monoculture have actually meant to us?

If any musician had Monocultural reach, I suppose it was '80s Jackson. But by 2009, MJ and The MC had outlived their symbolic equivalence. Maybe the Black Eyed Peas or, yes, Madonna still deserve it. More likely, The Monoculture as symbol deserves to die. The cranky Protestant in me counters any claim on The Monoculture with Jimmy Guterman's sage comment from 1991's The Worst Rock 'n' Roll Records of All Time: "Rock and roll is but one small part of the music being made on this planet. Rockers who think they're changing the world are in fact only reaching a small part of it." (If you're put off by the rockist language, Guterman selected MJ's Off the Wall in his companion volume of Best Rock 'n' Roll Records.) My advice for trendwatchers: next time you're tempted to overstate the importance of The Monoculture, stop to consider the reach of Norman Borlaug, practitioner of a very different kind of monoculture. The agronomist, who died in September, won the 1970 Nobel Peace Prize and is estimated to have saved a billion lives through increased crop yields and large scale farming techniques. That's monoculture with reach.



That said, I liked Jackson more than most other pop stars--probably more than I like the Catholic Church, now that I think of it. I can't think of another singer able to negotiate such rage and beauty within a single song--and in plenty of his songs, within a single line ("DIRTY DIANA! Nooo...."). Forget "crazy," forget "rich," even forget "entertainer" and "influence." They may be true, but they smack of faint praise. This guy was one of the great MUSICIANS of the past century. We're talking Stravinsky, Armstrong, Ornette, Beatles territory. (As a vocal arranger of multitracked Michaels, he's an unsung studio hero.) The fact that he was able to communicate to unimaginably huge audiences with stuff that was as claustrophobic and violent as lots of black metal only rarefies his music even more.

Ultimately, though, the only size audience I care about is me. I'm sure you all have the same impulse. That's the Protestantism rearing its head again--screw the papacy, I'll worship however (whoever?) I want! It's no accident that Protestantism has inevitably led to "niche" religions, even within Lutheranism. The self-hating Missouri Synod Lutherans = doom metal, the woman-hating Wisconsin Synod Lutherans = black metal, while my beloved Evangelical Lutheran Church in America = power metal. We're happy and we fight dragons! Plus, as of August, gay people can preach and get married. And fight dragons. (If they want--we don't make them or anything.)



I guess the "point" I'm dancing around (and was trying to avoid "making") is this: just as the breakdown of Catholicism wasn't really a breakdown because Catholicism still exists, and just as the breakoffs from Catholicism inevitably led to a boutique culture within Protestantism--so the breakdown of The Musical Monoculture wasn't really a breakdown because the Black Eyed Peas still exist, and so the breakoffs from Said Monoculture have inevitably led to the boutique culture that Christgau identified back in 2000, if not earlier.* The interesting aspect of all this is that both impulses, Protestant and Catholic, still exist, always have and always will--we only like what we like, but we still want to see the consensus. If your Protestant nature totally wins, you're probably not voting in the poll. If your Catholic nature takes over, you probably scored the top Critical Alignment rating, and everyone knows those dudes are LAAAAME.

I fear I'm making the classic critic's mistake of equating Pazz and Jop with The Monoculture. Sure, Thriller won, but so did TV on the Radio's Dear Science. Like, who actually listens to Dear Science? Among people I regularly talk to, Susan Boyle is far more important. So is Brad Paisley. And like Martin Luther, like MLK, like most sane people who accomplish anything, Paisley's a dreamer and a realist, which is why his vision of a modern American Saturday Night is a union of the niches. (A very consumer-driven union, too--his multicultural title song reads like a Google Products search.) However popular, though, Paisley's not The Monoculture. He's a niche, too--just one with more crossover appeal than TVOTR.

Speaking of crossover appeal, the local Hot AC station became integrated this year! I mean, they'd played "Hey Ya" and "No One" before, but this was the first time I heard actual black people rapping on 101.9 "The Mix." We're talking a station that had previously left Lil' Wayne and TI verses on the cutting room floor. Now they play the Peas (who doesn't?), but also the Weezy verse of Jay Sean's "Down," and "Empire State of Mind." That one blew me away. Aging fans of Bon Jovi and Vertical Horizon must finally be ready for Jay-Z!



I digress.

Most Protestants still value their gatekeepers, be they pastors, bishops, teachers or whoever. Our worship is our own, but it's nice to have people in charge who know what they're talking about just the same--WHICH LEADS ME TO MY BRIGHT IDEA FOR FUTURE POLLS. Have everyone list the gatekeeper who introduced them to their favorite music. That'd give us a nice sense of how the industry operates and who the most influential critics are, about which I'm sure everybody's curious. Here, I'll start:

"I'm On a Boat"--Chuck Eddy via Rhapsody
"High Cost of Living"--Chuck via ilx, library
"Midlife Chrysler"--Chuck via ilx (I swear I'm not a sycophant.) (Actually, I think I first heard this on some mysterious country station in Rolla, MO, this past summer. Haven't heard it on the radio since.)
"Quiet Dog"--KDHX (St. Louis community radio)
"New Wu" and OB4CLII--media blitz, previous fandom
"2 Turntables"--KDHX
"Don't Stop Believin'"--TV
"Sidestep"--Chuck via LiveJournal
"Then" and American Saturday Night--media blitz, library
"On the Ocean"--WGCI (Chicago R&B radio)

K'Naan--Chuck via ilx
Maxwell--Borders promo, previous fandom
Ata Ebtekar--Scott Seward via ilx
Lightning Bolt--previous fandom
Yeah Yeah Yeahs--media blitz, library
Dylan--Borders promo, previous fandom
Cesium 137--Metropolis promo, previous fandom (Note that this is the only item on my list that came directly to me as a promo. Metropolis is my only promo provider. Boo hoo.)
U2--Borders promo, previous fandom

With the Borders well dried up (I quit in August), who knows how I'll hear music next year? Library CDs and darkwave in 2010!

Despite my stodgier demography, I think this is the first time I've ever voted for three artists whose names rhyme--K'Naan, K'Jon, and Raekwon. (Of course, pointing this out may just reinforce the stodge.) No Jay Sean, though, and I'm still awaiting the J-Kwon comeback. Oh wait--Wikipedia tells me it happened this year and I missed it. Youtubing (at church) as we speak... The lyric "J-Kwon back--WHAT?!" seems about right. Yeah, this "I Smacked Nikki" thing is way stodgier than even my sorry attempts at rhyming.

Speaking of stodge, how about that Neko Case CD?



If I want a song cycle that grapples with nature and gets me in touch with my chthonic urges, I'll listen to Germans. Schubert's piano/vocal Winterreise has more variety, and Mahler's Kindertotenlieder (Songs on the Death of Children) has more feel-good moments. I would maybe buy Case's maneater claim if she didn't sing "surprised, -prised, -prised" the exact same way in every chorus of "People Got a Lotta Nerve." As it is, I feel like I can predict her every move, and would thus be able to escape her attempts to eat me. Frankly, there's an alarming shortage of people on my list that I believe could eat me. Maybe the girl from Glee. But even Lightning Bolt are more comforting than threatening at this point.

I'd apologize for running out of steam and leaving you with half-baked ideas, but that assumes the presence of steam and ideas to begin with. So anyway, keep up the good work and may your health insurance not screw you over.

*My parallel between Catholic/Protestant and Monoculture/Niche Culture breaks down in a couple important respects. Catholicism is (theoretically) completely hierarchical, whereas The (theoretical) Monoculture is at least partly driven by consensus and consumer choice. Untouchable record label honchos may be responsible for 90% of what we hear, but even they can't make us like what we don't like. It's not like pop stars are ordained by God, no matter what they might say while accepting Grammys. And while Protestantism represents a more direct relationship with God, which resonates when discussing Niche Culture--nobody's force-feeding you this music, and maybe you even know the artists--it also represents a rejection of idolatry, which means the elevation of something temporal to the status of an absolute. Temporal things could include golden calves, money, the Bible, or your own opinion. Absolute things include God. So it's sort of perverse to say the Protestant Principle is making me vote for Ata Ebtekar instead of the Peas. If anything, the Protestant Principle should be telling me, "Christgau and Rosen are voting for the Peas, you think you know any better?" Or, "In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter whether Ebtekar's better than the Peas?" Or, "Why don't you go become an agronomist and feed starving people?"

Surfing with CryoShell

Allmusic's biggest failure may be that they don't have a proper biography of the band CryoShell. Of course, that's true of the band's website too, leading me to believe that CRYOSHELL ARE SHROUDED IN MYSTERY. Either that, or they're an Archies-like jingle machine for the LEGO corporation, a theory supported by this droll Wikipedia entry:

"Cryoshell is a Danish band best known for their work for Lego BIONICLE advertisements. Until their site changed its cover in promotion for their newest song, "Bye Bye Babylon", the site contained a strange and interesting story stub relating to a powerful biomechanical form in the Arctic, called the Cryoshell, from which the band may take its name. There were also fictional profiles of the three band members..."

Indeed, the most hilarious comment for the above-linked Youtube says, "I work at a LEGO store and this song KEEPS PLAYING in the Bionicle section. Good song when heard thru occasionally, not when you hear the chorus every 3 minutes for 5 hours straight!" Momentarily set aside the question of how huge the LEGO store must be to have a whole Bionicle section. You can really hear the pathos of the Common Man in commenter 902411's words, especially if you've ever worked retail.

I'm puzzled as to why the latest Bionicle jingle is a Babylon song. A cursory search turns up nothing in the Bionicle line of fine products that would support such imagery, but maybe I'm missing something (or maybe something's coming down the pike). The song does sound like what I imagine Bionicle fans hear when they're playing with their action figures or video games, i.e., an uninteresting Lacuna Coil knockoff, sung by a hot chick.



Though it dabbles in "Middle Eastern" scales by throwing some flat seconds into the guitar riff, CryoShell's Babylon song has little in common with Rainbow's far superior invitation to hell. "Bye Bye Babylon" is basically a smattering of Babylon cliches mixed with the sort of dimestore (LEGOstore?) antiauthoritarianism that advertisers and their young demographic targets love.

This Bionicled Babylon is a land that reaches for the sun, depraves everyone, is scattered and will run, left burning in the sun; so right there we've got the Tower of Babel's hubris, the unspecified moral depravity of hair metal's Babylon, and the fact that Babylon's in the desert. These various definitions do NOT mean that lead singer "Lore" is operating on some multi-tiered architectonic platform of deep meaning. More likely, she (or whoever wrote it) didn't know why they were writing a song about Babylon any more than we do, so they went to Wikipedia and tried to incorporate every meaning in the book. (No whores, though; missed one!)

Note the lack of specificity. We don't know exactly how Babylon is obstructing our heroine's fight for... whatever it is she's fighting for. Freedom? Identity? The right to trademark Maori words for commercial purposes? (Dude, some of those words sound pretty rad.) Maybe she should buy some Bionicles and make them fight; I bet that'd help.

Best Thing I Heard Today: Dirty Little Rabbits doing "Hello"

If you asked me, "Would you like to hear a Slipknot side project?" I would of course say "Yes," but no way would I expect it to sound this HAPPY:



The drummer is the Slipknot link; and so (nevertheless?) the Rabbits manage some nice grooves here, especially the metal chugging during the dramatic prologue. Stella the singer manages to do justice both to the spacey journal-entry esoterica of the verses, and to the pure joy and vindication of the choruses. "All good people find one another," eh? It's easy for her to say that once she's found the guy. If she was still down in the rabbit hole or wherever, I doubt she'd feel quite as self-satisfied.

Surfing with SOJA

Here's a touching ode to the difficulty of NOT being an impoverished Jamaican:



SOJA (Soldiers of Jah Army) are a competent middle-class white reggae band from Washington D.C. Simply keeping their noses to the grindstone, they could have had a respectable career playing UB40 covers on cruise ships, or maybe busting out their roots repertoire at frat parties seeking a modicum of "authenticity." Instead, lead singer Jacob Hemphill seems bent on "self-expression." This is unfortunate, considering his skill at expressing himself in interviews:

HEMPHILL ON SONGWRITING: “When you listen to an artist you can either have a series of one liners, or you can tell a story with your music."
Guess which one he wants to do.

HEMPHILL ON ELEMENTS OF STYLE AND FINANCE: "We set out to tell a story, it's like poetry – dancing around an entire theme, but never putting a period on anything. It is like the two sides of a coin, but you can see them at the same time.”
Thoughtful of him to explicate the obscure meaning of that cliche.

HEMPHILL ON HIS LOVE AFFAIR WITH MUSIC: "I think music calls me for booty calls. It's kind of crazy."
Dude, that's called "masturbating to your Lee Perry records"--which is, admittedly, kind of crazy.

Granted, musicians often sound like idiots in interviews. (See Sheryl Crow.) Usually they can muster some clarity in their songs, though--that's what we pay them to do. True to form, Hemphill's "Born in Babylon" is CLEARLY the rant of a man who's been lambasted by critics, doesn't appreciate it, and sees in his bad reviews a parallel with the physical and economic enslavement of the Jamaican people. Why? Because these authoritarian critics are stifling His Voice!

Attacking critics is certainly nothing new--Eminem and Toby Keith have done so in fairly entertaining ways, Akon more passive-aggressively. (I'm conflicted about increasing nu-Idolator's hit count, but this is right on.) SOJA wisely choose the latter method, particularly during Jacob's priceless closing scat:

"If I never tried to do this at all/ I think he [the critic]'d be out of a job/ And maybe I just should've stayed in bed/ Stay out of the booth and put all these guitars in the closet."

Perish the thought! If you did that, we might never get to know your attractive self-righteous side:

"Saving this world just come with a cost..."
"I'm too busy to judge another man/ I'm tryin' to write the blueprint for all the world to understand."

Good luck with that, Jake! In the meantime, you might want to decide whether you want people to actually read that blueprint, or simply look into your eyes and divine your saving heart:

"While they were aiming at my words/ they missed the rest of me."

Well, your words provide a big target. The idea of "Born in Babylon" was born when Hemphill was shooting the breeze with his buddy, Redskins quarterback Colt Brennan, who has also faced the abject, soul-killing adversity of people telling him he'd never make it to the NFL. In what could have been a misplaced Punky Brewster episode, the two sat around one day bemoaning their lot in life. According to The Star:

"Me [Hemphill] and [Brennan] were sitting there talking one day like, `Dude, nobody wants us to f--king make it because of who we are, it's so f--king Babylon.' He said, `I came from a good family and good house, but because of who I was everybody says I can't make it; so it's like I might as well have come from nothing and pulled myself all the way up.'"

Not exactly. COMING FROM NOTHING is like coming from nothing. Overcoming discouraging words to become an NFL QB or a professional musician is admirable, but not unthinkable when your parents have had the good fortune to raise you in a middle-class suburb like Arlington, VA. I'll grant you, worrying about bands' authenticity and whether they've "paid their dues" is one of the biggest bugaboos around; a more real concern is when some yak from "a good family and a good house" makes a living in a touring band (behind Matisyahu, no less!), but still compares himself to this guy:



Choose your symbols carefully!

The Flowtation Device Presentz: "House of Flying Daggers" by Raekwon feat. GZA, Deck, Ghost, Meth, and LOTS OF CUSSING BEWARE

After days of soul searching, struggle, wrestling with angels and the absent U-God Himself (QUOTH THE U-GOD FROM VOLUME I: "Before we got Germanic and thoughts got sporadic..." POINT TAKEN U), I've finally come to the determination that I don't love Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II as much as I should. Like Job when he came face to face with the Almighty and lost, I'm bewildered and don't pretend to understand, but I take solace in the fact that the whole thing is made with untold skill, not unlike Leviathan (NOT the Mastodon album, though my feelings toward it are similar). Indeed! Canst thou draw out Leviathan with a hook? Bitch? I don't think so! Nor shouldst you expect to draw out Cuban Linx II with hooks, cuz they're not there. There's nothing to hang onto, nothing to grab. You want grabby, go listen to K'Naan.

But forget what I just said! Because every time I listen there's more and more--like you're, what, surveying the surface of Leviathan and seeing all the little details, all the scars of, um, harpoons past? With that, we retire the metaphor and instead listen to one of these songs I DO love, a battle-hardened harpoon scar incarcerated on larceny and arson, see--you Johnny Carson, son, a farce to me:



Anyway, this tune's handy for comparing different flow styles. Inspectah Deck (verse 1) and Method Man (verse 4, 3:32) offer what I'll call "complex sung" verses until world-historical hip-hop scholar Adam Krims deigns to advise me otherwise. Meth bases his rhyme schemes around a four-bar, three-rhyme pattern:

MANya'll /
NIGgasAIN'T.SHIT.TOus / =.STILLaPIS_TOLbust /
*split*yourMELonLIKEi / SPLIT.THEdutch

He messes around with that pattern throughout the verse. My favorite variation comes later in the verse where he pushes the second rhyme to beat 1 of bar three:

GOTa /
WHOLE_LINEofCLAS_SICjoints / =andWHILEyouATitPASS_ /
THEjoint*let'sPUSHthisMUSic / PAST_THEpoint*

And Meth LOVES his syncopated syllables here. Listen to the end of his verse, where he's practically chewing his off-beat "ch" sounds:

MY_TIMEtoGO.FORsure / *yaNIGgaGOES_TOwar /
=whatch=yaTHINKiBROUGHTthese / SOL_DIERSfor*toSEND. /
SHOT.LIKEforGET.MEnots / *atANyNIGgaRESpect /
*bitch*thatFIGureTHEYgon' / GET.MEgot*

Deck is a little more varied, but is basically playing around with a similar four-bar pattern of three rhymes:

iPOP_ /
OFF_LIKEaMOB_STERboss / =.ANgelHAIR_WIT'the /
LOB_STERsauce=.SUMmer / TIME.CAN'T_TOP_THEscorch

He nearly always pauses for an empty beat between phrases. (Meth would, too, except he fills his empty beats with those chewy syncopated "bitch"es and whatnot, that anticipate the next phrase.) While Deck changes his phrase lengths, he ends every rhyme on beat 2 or 4--an opening verse that's good and solid, but not too off-kilter.

Both of those guys offer up lots of stuff to hang onto--regular patterns of rhythm and rhyme, beat-long rests separating phrases--that makes it easier to grasp their words and rhythmic variations. Between those "complex sung" verses, we've got the "definitely speech effusive" Raekwon (verse 2, 1:53) and Ghostface Killah (verse 3, 2:53), who occasionally nod to regular rhyme patterns, but mostly do away with them altogether. They also rarely place more than an empty half-beat between phrases, because they've got too much language and murder to cram in. BUT they throw us some crumbs: in the middle of their verses they break up the chaos of their attacks with strong on-beat lines. Rae's got:

FLY_CRI_TERiA_ / BURyMEinAFriCAwith /
WHIPS_ANDspears=andROUGH_ / DIAmondsOUTofSYriA= /

--while Ghost gives us:

hu /
MILiATE.BRUtalIZE. / RUgerPOP.PULverIZE. /
STILL_GOT_GEARinTHEclo / SET.THAT'S_STUpidLIVEfrom

These are like little islands we, their humble listeners, can process before they flip into insane shit like Ghost's:

BENetTON_RUGbySKUL / LIES.OSH_KOSHconDUCTor /
JUMpers*theTRAIN_HATS_ / FIT*MEloveLY.


Young Zeegy models the Osh Kosh conductor jumper, minus train hat. OG since '05!

Given all these similarities, it's nice of Rae and Ghost to sound so dissimilar. Rae's all quiet burn, while Ghost always reminds me of some unhinged free jazz trombone solo. He's one of the most musical rappers I can think of, even though he's nearly always speech effusive and rarely "sung" (though I haven't heard his new smooth R&B CD--further research).

As I look over Rae's verse, I'm seeing that he breaks up his phrases with empty beats a little more than Ghost does, giving us bewildered listeners a chance to appreciate lines like these on first hearing:

and /
SPEAK.WIT'theYOUTHinTHEspot / *.EATtheFRESH_FRUITin /
THEcrop=.ALLtheseHIP. / HOPpersEATcock*.YOUcan
SEEmeINtheSTREETorTHEyacht / =i'dRAtherBEproMOTin' /
YOURblock*orBUYin'FRESH= / SNEAKersWITHgwops

Let me just reiterate how, as in Meth's verse, I LOVE the rhymes landing on beat 1. And part of that LOVE comes from the fact that it frustrates my expectation of where they SHOULD land (on beat 2 or 4), an expectation that exists partly from Deck's Verse One patterns, but more from Rae's ability to SEEM like he's slipping into a typical "sung" pattern that we've heard somewhere before, where the rhymes end on 2 or 4. This ability is no doubt intuitive for Rae, as it is for all these guys. It's sort of like how a jazz soloist will have all kinds of licks and melody fragments at her disposal, deploy them selectively, and wickedly exploit listeners' memories of those fragments by altering them at choice moments.

Ghost makes the fewest nods to typical "sung" patterns, and is consequently the most exhausting of the four to listen to. Maybe this is a key to why this whole album hasn't reached out and grabbed me yet--because it's got a lot of Rae (obv) and Ghost, and they're exhausting. If it was all Meth's delicious syncopated stuff in fairly regular patterns, I'd have a better idea of what's going on and would be annoying my family with more recitations by now. As it is, I'd've never heard Ghost's Osh Kosh reference without looking at the words written out. So while I love listening to these speech effusive guys in small doses, because what they're able to do is incredible, they're a lot to take in. I appreciate Rae's efforts, however meager, to give me something to hang onto.

And "New Wu"--you've GOT to hear Meth on this one (3:28)...

Best Thing I Heard Today: Yo La Tengo doing "Nothing To Hide"

The state of dadrock in '09! God bless WXRT.



And God bless Yo La Tengo, who could churn out stuff like this until record stores collapsed on their heads, and I wouldn't care. They've got their Clean Farfisa and their wispy vocals and, at 1:30 or so, a very Velvety guitar solo, and it sounds as good as anything. In the same way I could while away the day looking up indistinguishable '70s roots reggae on Youtube, I could completely neglect family and responsibility seeking out little three-minute YLT chugalugs.

That's, uh, not them in the video.

The Flowtation Device Presentz: Mos Def's "Quiet Dog (Bite Hard)"

Mr. Def! I hate this game, sir--
This game makes my tongue quite lame, sir!



Mos Def's "Quiet Dog", from his latest LP The Ecstatic, is first and foremost the party-starter of the year--but SECOND and not quite to the fore, it's a total old-skool throwback. I say this not just because Mr. Def quotes two lines from the Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight," thow that's the obvious giveaway, but also because his entire rap springs from those lines like water from Moses's stones. Like a good old-skoolchild, he doesn't cuss. But the real fingerprints are rhythmic:



Mr. Def opens with a variation on the "up jumps the boogie" chant and closes with an extrapolation of the line "ya don't stop the rock." Their rhythmic characteristics are similar, so we'll focus on the first. (Incidentally, for some family fun, if you rap "Quiet Dog" over the Chic bassline from "Rapper's Delight," it fits.) Here's Sugarhill's "up jumps the boogie" line, flowtated:

BANG.BANG.BOOgieSAIDup / *jump*thaBOOgieTOthe / RHYthmOFtheBOOgieTHEbeat / -

And here's Mr. Def's virtually identical take on same:

BANG_TOtheBOOgieSAYup / *jump*theBOOgieTOthe / RHYthmOFtheBOOgieTObe / -

This line has a couple noteworthy characteristics, which Mr. Def will fully exploit during the course of his "boogie to be."

First! Notice in the first two measures how we contrast strong unsyncopated syllables occurring ON THE BEAT with strong syncopated syllables occurring off the beat. That is, Sugarhill's "BANG.BANG.BOOgie" and Def's "BANG_TOtheBOOgie" contrast with the second bar's "up / *jump*thaBOOgie". This contrast forms the basis of Def's first flow pattern, which he uses for all of verse 1 and for a couple lines near the beginning of verse 2, only transposed to the second halves of the bars:

SIM_PLEthePLAIN_NESS_ / PROmiNENTbas-ic-zu /
-lu-arRANGE_MENT_ / ROCKin'Amaze-ment-fly /

So "PLAIN_NESS_" and "RANGE_MENT_" are on the beat ("BANG.BANG."), while their rhymes "bas-ic-" and "maze-ment-" are off the beat ("up*jump*"). I should note that the horizontal lines (_ and -) in Def's rap simply indicate that he's flowing more legato than the staccato Sugarhills, whose breaks are indicated by dots (. and *). I should also note that, for purposes of comparison, if you offset Mr. Def's barlines half a measure, you'll see that his unsyncopated/syncopated flow pattern corresponds neatly to the germinal "up jump the boogie" line:

PLAIN_NESS_PROmiNENTbas / -ic-zu
RANGE_MENT_ROCKin'Amaze / -ment-fly
corresponds to
BANG_TOtheBOOgieSAYup / *jump*the

Second! The characteristic syncopation of Sugarhill's "tha / BOOgieTOtheRHYthmOFthe / BOOgieTHEbeat-" is caused by a run of syllables ending on an offbeat, which imbues the final offbeat with an unusual implicit stress. See, for example, "Quiet Dog"'s first verse, the first four lines, second half of each line:

PROmiNENTbas-
ROCKin'Amaze-
HEAvenTOpave-
NOthin'TOplay-

As Mr. Def proceeds, we get longer syllabic runs, most of which end on offbeats, culminating at the end of verse 1 with my favorite (I keep reciting it around Zack, he keeps yelling at me):

*laDIESandGENTleMEN_ / MIStasANDmisTRESes-. /
COUSinsOTHerANToANDsyn / Onyms-

This passage combines the two key rhythmic characteristics. "GENTleMEN_ / MIStasANDmisTRESes-" is our "BANG.BANG.BOOgie" line, contrasting rhyming ONBEAT and offbeat syllables. "COUSinsOTHerANToANDsyn / Onyms-" is our "RHYthmOFtheBOOgieTObe" line, ending a run of syllables on an offbeat. Whoa, now! That's just Mos Def testing your equilibrium!

In verse 2, Mr. Def introduces a new four-bar flow pattern with the lines:

DUDES_AIN'T_THROWin'THEYyawn / -in'*theyNEEDtoGEToff
-it-soWACK.RAPis / ALLyouCANcall-it*there /

He rhymes "yawnin'" (end of beat 4 in bar 1) and "off it" (end of beat 4 in bar 2), and then postpones the next rhyme, "call it," by two beats, so it's at the end of beat 2 in the fourth bar. Since all three rhymes occur on offbeats, we're into different flow territory than before, when he was contrasting rhyming ONBEATS and offbeats.

He's still playing with ONBEATS and offbeats, though, just unrhymed ones. Dig the configuration. You could theoretically replace the above two lines ("dudes ain't throwin'" etc...) with this:

BANG_TOtheBOOgieSAYup / *jump*theBOOgieSAYup /
*jump*theBANG_TOthe / BOOgieSAYup*jump*. /

So the rhymes, in the position of "up*jump", fall after four beats, after three beats, and after five beats--and you can feel the extra length in each ultimate rhymed line. This allows Mr. Def to play with longer syllabic runs as he closes out his four-bar patterns (ENgineLIKEi / ROLLoutTHEsta-tion). I don't know my poetics, but there's probably some technical term for this kind of tension-building rhythmic pattern.

I situate this song in the old-skool because of Def's "sung" flow. Sung style, according to rap theorist Adam Krims, exhibits "rhythmic repetition, on-beat accents, regular on-beat pauses, and strict couplet groupings." Krims's book, Rap Music and the Poetics of Identity, is likely to be useful to The Flowtation Device at some point. His other flow types are "speech-effusive," typified by Wu-Tang, and "percussion-effusive," typified by Outkast--but all we need to know here is that the "sung" stuff is old-skool. Of course, the fact that Def is quoting and building on Sugarhill rhymes kind of makes that point painfully obvious. It'll be interesting to see what a percussion-effusive (I think) rapper like Busta Rhymes does when HE interpolates a Sugarhill song, as in "Woo-Hah!! Got You All In Check".

Until then, dig this song like there's no tomorrow, because it is beautiful!